I have a hard time starting something like this.  There are so many blogs, so much information, so much noise that I feel guilty adding to it.  But, I'm really writing this for me, I guess, so I will absolve myself.  I love writing, and it is the one thing I do purely for my own satisfaction, so it's hard to put stuff out here where someone might see it.  I don't usually have the time, or rather, make the time, to do this sort of thing; but now I find that I am feeling sick more often than I feel well, and I don't want to spend my days home sleeping or watching T.V. or checking everyone's Facebook statuses all day long.

My friend, Julie Davis, encouraged me to do this, and as she is also ill quite a bit and yet makes meaning out of most of her days, I decided to listen to her.  Thank you, Julie, for the encouragement and the inspiration that you are.

Don't get me wrong.  This is not a blog about being sick.  That may come into it from time to time, since after 12 years of having "spells" or "episodes" of whatever-this-is has finally garnered a possible cause and, as another friend said, "A cause means there's an answer." We have just begun the process of finding that answer or solution or treatment or whatever you might want to call it.  But I think I'd like this to be more about my journey... maybe something my girls can read later on in life and say, "Oh, good.  Mom felt like that, too."  I'd like to put poems, stories, impressions of life, and junk like that out there.  I don't know if it'll make good reading, but, like I said, this is more for me, anyway.

So here goes.  This one is for Kaylee.

She is looking at the window
While the rain comes down
And I watch her as she stares intently
Lost in some world of her imagination's making.
And I knock on that world's door
And hope she'll let me in.
"I'm waiting," she says, "for this
                                                   rain
                                          drop
                                               to catch up
                                      with
                                          that
                              one.
They make a bigger path when they get together."
"I used to do that too, when I was little," I say.
And we sit
And listen to the rain
And I think about how my path in life is bigger
And better
Because she's here.